You haven't gone crazy....you've gonepausal!

Middle Age Dater

Dating in middle age, or let's be honest, in the last half of your life, is a challenge.

When you were younger, you met women at college parties, in classes, or at work.  Everyone was in the same boat.  Young, hopeful, adventurous, exploratory.  No one had much baggage back then.

But in the last half of your life you've accumulated baggage.  You're probably retired or thinking of it.  If single, you've most likely been married a time or two.  The grandkids are great, the kids are a pain in the ass, and the ex-wives are such bitches.

So how do you meet women when you're fifty-plus?

  1. Fix-ups:
    • "Jane and I have this great gal for you to meet."
    • "What does she look like?"
    • "She's very nice and has a few bucks."
    • "What does she look like?"
    • "She's very athletic and can do all kinds of activities since her hip replacement."

  2. Chance meetings in a bar:
    • "You live around here?"
    • "Yeah'"
    • "Can I buy you a drink?"
    • "What kind of car do you drive?"

  3. Dating services:
    • Lots of possibilities here.  I was one of the earliest subscribers to Match.com.  I'm their original poster boy.

If a woman, however, asks me how long I've been on the service, I lie and say "Just a few months."  If I answered truthfully that I'd been on Match.com for over ten years, my potential date would assume I was either a loser, a professional dater, or commitment-phobic, all of which are probably true.

Other lies on dating services have to do with age and looks.  Everyone drops down five to seven years in stated age.  And their alluring picture is probably from the latter half of the last century.  I did an e mail with a woman who seemed attractive.  But on closer scrutiny, in the background was an Edsel.   I swear!  An Edsel.

After I'd used up most of my dating leads in the San Francisco area, where I resided at the time, I expanded my horizons to include other cities where I was not known.  San Diego, New York, Chicago, and even Memphis.  Yes, even Memphis.  Middle age dating is a challenge.


 - anonymous in LaQuinta, CA

The Men's Room: "Middle Age Dater"